Perhaps writing this is my way of dealing with the recent death of my mother, Ruth. She died last Saturday morning at 5:10am. I remember waking up to my father leaving a message on the answering machine. I have never experienced the feelings that have followed, although I've been through the death of grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends. Somehow, this is quite different.
It seems to be a very difficult subject with my friends and colleagues. I understand and sympathize with their awkwardness. What do you say? How do you comfort those who have lost someone dear?
It was most difficult Sunday night sitting in the living room of my parent's house. Everyone had gone to bed and the house was quiet. I suddenly felt overwhelmed by the paradox of our connectedness with one another. We are at once always alone and at the same time eternally connected. We are each on our own sacred path from the moment of birth until death. Many people cross our path over the length of our lifetime. Some are with us for many years, others only for a short time. Each one both a teacher and a student.
Mother was a very important teacher in my life. She taught me integrity, virtue and the power of truth. She taught me to think for myself and to stand up for justice. She taught me to enjoy the simple moments and to take myself lightly. I'm not sure what I taught her, but then, that is not for me to know.
It is still hard to imagine that I will never hug her again. I will never hear her laugh or watch Star Trek with her. The list is endless. I suppose the only comfort is knowing that who we are, who we really are never ends. Each of us is a spark from the same eternal fire. We are divinity incarnate. We are here to give and to serve. We are here to learn and to play. Above all else, we are here to love and I am grateful she blessed me with her presence.
October 17, 1996
Linda
Page Created on: October 12, 1998
